Three years ago, I adopted a dog. Or rather, she adopted me and I've been grateful for her terrible judgment ever since.
The first few months were rough in ways nobody warns you about. But somewhere after the puppy blues lifted, I started watching her less like a paranoid new dog parent ("Heyyy! What is in your mouth? Put that down!") and more with something that was closer to envy.
She wakes up every single morning with so much pawsitivity that today's gonna be the best day ever. I have probably done that a few times, the days on which I know I woke up on the right side of the bed. She greets me after five minutes with the same intensity as five months. No scaling of enthusiasm, no withholding, no playing it cool. She has decided I am awesome and she acts on that decision every single time. She doesn't care if she embarrasses me, all she wants me to know is that she missed me :)
She has opinions about people and she doesn't bother hiding them. Vibe check fails? She walks away. No forced small talk, no convincing herself to try harder, no agonising over it later. She has enough people she loves and who love her.
There's a line between devotion and dependency I used to think I understood. She sleeps near the door when I leave. Makes a fuss. Her whole world visibly pauses but she continues living her life. Eats, raids the house for something to chew, watches traffic from the balcony, finds a patch of sunlight to bathe in it. She falls apart a little but keeps going anyway. I have a solid 30+ years more experience than her in this world and yet, I cannot be as stoic as her.
If she needs to scratch in the middle of the road, she scratches. Screw traffic. Meanwhile I have spent years contorting myself around other people's comfort and calling it consideration and empathy. She would find this deeply stupid.
She'll be gone someday, probably before me, and she has never once thought about that.
She eats every meal like it matters. She walks every walk and smells every questionable thing on the road, as if it's the best gift ever. Every single day.
I don't know why she is the way she is, but I'm really glad I get to see the world through her Bambi eyes.
I'm trying to learn. She's a hard act to follow.